"I dont feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies."

Last night, I went for drinks with a friend to a local neighborhood bar (Roppongi). Even on a Tuesday, the streets should have been packed with drunk Japanese businessmen and even drunker foreigners. Yet, last night Roppongi was a ghost town and I couldn't figure out why.

The news today:

A “Yakuza War” has started in Central Tokyo

Yesterday morning at 10am in the well-to-do area of Tokyo’s Nishi Azabu, a member of one Yakuza gang (the Yamaguchi-gumi, 山口組) shot and killed a very senior member (a 幹部 or kanbu, which roughly translates to “director”) of another Yakuza gang (the Sumiyoshi-kai, 住吉会) on the side of the main road between Roppongi and Shibuya, all in broad daylight. This has lit a match of dangerous and lethal proportions, escalating a rift that has been brewing in Tokyo for some time now, starting the much feared “Yakuza war” in central Tokyo, that many have been predicting since the end of 2005.

***

The incident went as follows: Just after 10am, gun shots were heard along Roppongi Street in Nishi-Azabu 4 Chome. The fuzz arrived to find a rough looking, but well dressed guy inside a USD$110k black Toyota “Century” (pictured, the favoured car of the nationalistic Yakuza) dead. He had been shot three times in the head and stomach at point blank range, at 10am on a weekday morning on one of the busiest inner city thoroughfares of Tokyo in front of more than 50 or 60 onlookers (most who soon fled the scene for fear of being tangled in more than they can handle).

***

Turf-wars（縄張り）between the Yamaguchi-gumi and the Sumiyoshi-kai gangs have been increasing in recent years. The whole story is actually quite complicated, and is much harder to understand than the American “gang warfare” that we see in Hollywood movies. Indeed, Yakuza is far flung from the breed of gangs that fight in other countries - a true underworld, where the public is rarely aware of what is actually going on, and even more rarely affected or dragged into their constant fighting. There is no racial tension (they are all as pure as Japanese people come) and unlike gang members in the west, these guys are rich, filthy rich, and run many questionable, but lucrative businesses in Japan, including Pachinko and many of the chains of Japan’s famous love hotels.

***

The Yamaguchi-gumi is one of the largest criminal organization in the world. Estimates put the number of active members at just over 39,000, with thousands more having strong associations. It is, by far, the largest of the Yakuza group, and its membership encompasses roughly 45% of the 87,000 Yakuza in the Japanese underworld. However, the Yamaguchi-gumi are from the Kansai region, having their headquarters in Kobe. The current kumi-cho（組長） or Godfather of the Yamaguchi-gumi is known as Shinobu Tsukasa. He became the 6th boss of this group in 2005, and under his leadership the Yamaguchi-gumi has undertaking this expansionist policy into Tokyo, which is not traditionally a Yamaguchi-gumi stronghold. And their actions are upsetting the tradition Tokyo local gangs.

The Sumiyoshi-kai, is the second-largest Yakuza gang in Japan with an estimated 10,000 members. It is a confederation of smaller gangs, and its current sosai (総裁), or leader, is Shigeo Nishiguchi. Structurally, the Sumiyoshi-kai differs from its main rival, the Yamaguchi-gumi as it is more of a federation, has a looser chain of command and although Nishiguchi is still the supreme Godfather, he shares some powers with several other men.

***

Unfortunately it seems like the scattered and panicked Japanese guy that stumbled into us was right - there would be repercussions, and they have been occurring constantly since the initial shooting. Merely one hour later at just after 11am, the Yamaguchi-gumi’s main Tokyo office in Azabu-Juban 1, about 1.5 kilometers from Nishi-Azabu, was riddled with bullets in retaliation. Also, at 6am this morning, shots were heard in a Yamaguchi-related apartment building in Shibuya, and police arrived to find 3 holes in the door of one of the apartments. Around the same time, the door of a Yamaguchi-gumi member’s apartment in Toshima-ku was also sprayed with bullets. However there were no casualties in any of these attacks.

In should be noted that guns are illegal in Japan. In 2006, in the entire country, there were only 53 incidents involving guns, and only 2 deaths, the least in recorded history. And last year, 2006 was the only year on police record in which no one had been killed in Yakuza turf wars. 2007 has already failed at maintaining that record.

It remains to see what the outcome of this war will be, and how large it will become. But there are definitely more long black cars with tinted-black windows carrying bad-ass looking dudes with black glasses, and short blue and white cars with flashing red lights carrying not-so-bad-ass looking dudes with yellow armbands around Nishi Azabu than I have seen before. The chef over lunch said yesterday, 俺たち関係ないよ (”this doesn’t concern us, it has nothing to do with us”) - Good.

[thanks to stippy for the content]

Living in Tokyo is surreal. Since my arrival I have said that walking the streets of Tokyo is like being in a movie. At least now the movie is my favorite genre, action.

a long way from Smallville

Metropolis is a free weekly magazine in Tokyo for the English-speaking community. Each issue features interesting articles about Tokyo life, arts reviews and events listings for the city.

Each week the editors at Metropolis cull interesting soundbites from all of the major newspapers in Japan and include them in a column titled, The Small Print.

Here are my favorites from this week:

A taxi driver who ran over and killed a passenger after an argument over the quickest route was sent to prison for eight years.

Police are investigating a couple of cases of bizarre objects—one bag of gravel and one bag of sand—being left deliberately on the Odakyu line. A letter was found nearby demanding money.

A Sri Lankan jewelry dealer told police he was robbed in Ueno by a man who sprayed tear gas in his eyes and ran away with a bag containing gems worth ¥60 million and ¥300,000 in cash—but later admitted to making the whole thing up.

A Kagoshima man was awarded ¥600,000 in damages after he was forced by police investigators to trample on pieces of paper on which the names of his family members were written. He was being investigated on suspicion of vote buying, but was never charged.

As the past-expiration-date food scandal spread, officials at Tokyo Disneyland admitted serving 18 customers pieces of cheese that had expired the previous day. Apologies were made.

Narita Airport was thrown into turmoil when Leonardo DiCaprio and Will Smith, here to promote their latest films, landed within 30 minutes of each other, providing hundreds of waiting fans with two stars for the price of one.

The movie industry reported that domestic films made more money than Hollywood blockbusters last year for the first time since 1985. Analysts blamed the trend on Hollywood’s increasing reliance on remakes and sequels, with fewer films that tug on the heartstrings and appeal to Japanese sensibilities.

It was reported that Shiga Prefecture attracts perverts from all over the country trying to take photographs of schoolgirls, whose skirts are said in such circles to be the shortest in Japan.

An Ikebukuro shabu shabu restaurant, OL Shabu Shabu Shomuni, where waitresses dress like “office ladies” and strip in front of the customers, reported booming business. Diners are given mirrors and binoculars so they can get a really good look. [See note]

Lion Corp. announced a new spray that freezes insects to death. Barusan Hyosatsu Jet can be used against flies, spiders, cockroaches, among others, and is available in two versions, one for creatures that fly and another for those that crawl.

DoCoMo released a new clamshell phone that releases a scent when opened.

Animal experts warned dog walkers to beware of aggressive wild boars that have attacked people in recent weeks. The boars are known to dislike dogs—even cute little Chihuahuas.

Note: My male friends and I have been talking about this OL ("Office Ladies") place way too much. In fact, it was all we could talk about on the way to get shabu-shabu for lunch today (in Ginza, not Ikebukuro). Although lunch was delicious and the fully-clothed waitress provided perfect service, at one point our table fell silent. I knew what we were all thinking. "So you're saying I shouldn't ask her to feed me," I asked. We laughed. Then silence again as the waitress returned with our tea. Please go here to read more. (SFW)

The Coma

I'm currently reading The Coma by Alex Garland. He also wrote The Beach which I didnt really enjoy, but didnt particularly hate either.

The story:

A young man is brutally assaulted late at night in an Underground train by a gang of thugs. Beaten unconscious, he lies for days in a hospital bed - but appears to make a full recovery. On discharge from the hospital, Carl picks up the threads of his daily life, visiting friends, seeing his girlfriend - until he starts to notice strange leaps in his perception of time, distortions in his experience. Is he truly reacting with the outside world, or might he be terribly mistaken?

It turns out that Carl never came out of the coma. What Carl perceives as his daily life is no more than a 'half-reality' of memories and manifestations. It isn't long before Carl discovers his 'predicament' and sets his mind's eye on waking up.

So I started to think...What if I'm in a coma right now? I mean, what if I never made it to Japan? What if I was brutally assaulted in the DC metro by a gang of thugs? What if I am actually lying in a hospital bed and imagining my life in Tokyo?

For two days I've been weighing the possibilty that this is happening.

1) I have a pretty vivid imagination. "It's all the comic books you read growing up," a friend tells me. Moreover, my dreams are normally pretty detailed. I think that it's entirely possible that I am creating a world full of spectacular, vivid images.

2) I experience so many weird things in Tokyo. Strange things. Peculiar sights. Uncommon smells and sounds.

3) I am having a lot of fun. I am happy. I dont think coma patients are required to be sad. In the movies we never see what the comatose person is feeling - only what their family is feeling. Maybe their alternate reality is more fun than their actual reality.

4) Time moves very quickly. My week is usually work, sleep, work, sleep. My weekend is usually vodka, shake, chill. Im not exactly experiencing 'leaps in my perception of time,' but the pace is pretty disorienting.

5) I listen to people and don't understand what they are saying. Yes, they are speaking Japanese. However, my dreams often contain written or spoken words that are merely blurry images or sounds. Maybe the people are speaking Charlie-Brown-teacher-talk combined with the little Japanese I knew before I 'left' DC.

6) I havn't seen any new television shows. The little amount of American television I watch consists of old episodes of 90210, National Geographic specials about polar bears, and the occasional Woody Allen movie. Any knowledge of recent episodes of 24, Lost, or Heroes could be what I overhear my mother and grandmother discussing at my bedside.

7) I eat food that I dont recognize. Bizarre pyramids of rice and odd looking fish. Most of it tastes ok, but nothing tastes like food from home. Plus, I am losing weight. Maybe I am being fed intravenously in real life.

Anyway, lets just see how it goes. If I am correct, then I will trust my subconscious to show me a good time. If I'm terribly mistaken, then my time in Tokyo is something I will never forget.

Jake and the Giant Peach

Why is the fruit so big here?

Yellow Cabs

Im a huge fan of public transportation. I love taking the train and the subway in Tokyo is second to none in the world. That being said, sometimes you just need to take a taxi. Unfortunately, the taxis in Tokyo are useless...

A little background:

While Tokyo is a technological marvel as far as cities go, it has the most illogical address system known to man. The address system is based partly on location and partly on building history.

For example, here is a typical Tokyo address: 3-1-19 Roppongi. Yea, exactly.

The first and second number are based on "cross-streets" like column '3' and row '1.' Well, that would make sense but the grids and columns are not always in numerical order. Column '6' could be between column '2' and column '5.'

The third number in the address represents the building location on the block. However, those numbers are not in numerical order either. Instead, those numbers are ordered by the date in which the building was built. Therefore, building '19' could be between building '4' and building '11.' In other words, the last building to be built will have the highest number regardless of its location on the block.

It has been said that Tokyo mailmen are geniuses.

ok, back to my taxi issues...

The terrible address system creates terrible taxi drivers. Like every other person in Tokyo (except the mailmen) the taxi drivers dont know any addresses. "Take me to 3-1-19 Roppongi." Um, good luck.

So what is the solution?

You are forced to tell your taxi driver to take you to a general area, a train station, or a major intersection. Then direct him with "right here," "left at the light," and "STOP" until you reach your destination.

It is no wonder that in nearly every Japanese language course 'Taxi Conversation' is the second lesson after 'Basic Greetings.'

ugh..."Eki wa doko ka wakarimasu ka?" [Do you know where the train station is?]

Note: I decided that the only pictures that will appear on this blog are ones that I have taken myself. Let me say that while Tokyo taxi drivers may not know where they are going, they definitely know that they dont like their picture taken. It was only after narrowly avoiding death that I managed to snag a few quality shots.

In a good mood...

Does that include 25?

A conversation I had with a rather pleasant African gentleman on the way home from the office:

X-san: Hey man, hey man...I got beautiful babies upstairs. Come check it out.
Me: I'm going home.
X-san: But I got beautiful babies here. Hot Japanese girls, all nationalities.
Me: But I got beautiful babies at home.
X-san: But do you have up to 25 of them?
Me: Well...no, I guess I don't.
X-san: Come check it out.
Me: Another night, man. Thanks though.
X-san: But their t*tties are so hot!
Me: I'm sure they are.

And as I continued alone up the sidewalk I recalled the rather unusual figure that X-san offered..."up to 25 beautiful babies." Did that mean that there were any possible number of girls in the 4th floor sex den up to a maximum of 25? Or, was he saying that there were more than 25 girls, but at least 25 of them were beautiful? And of that "up to 25," I wonder how many of them actually had "hot t*tties."

It's no wonder that so many Japanese men are into math...